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Updated Saturday 10 May, 2008 12:19 PM | Headlines | Discussion Forum | International Edition |
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Extinction Event By Doctor What
Chapter 20 "A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer." -Ralph Waldo Emerson - US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882) ** August 19, 2008 - near the corner of 34th Street and Lexington Avenue – Near the Queens Midtown Tunnel Exit – Manhattan Island About 8:30 pm local time
"Barry—if you start going on again about how all this is some kind of evil plan by the military-industrial complex to take over America, I swear to God that I will beat you over the head with a crowbar." David was not having a good time. Getting through the Midtown Tunnel had been relatively easy—as he and Barry were apparently the only two schmegegie in all of New York City going into Manhattan. It had required a bit of pushing and shoving in some cases to plough their way through the mass of people going out but David had lived in New York all his life and, like most native New Yorkers, pushing his way through crowds was almost a genetic skill at this point. The hard part had been listening to Barry for the last half hour tell him - in extremely detailed explanations – what his theories were for what was happening. He had—at last count—about 5 different theories. Every single one of them involved various combinations and permutations of Republican war hawks, military defence contractors, Yale’s Skull & Bones society, the Montauk Project, the Philadelphia Experiment and, for some reason, Detroit car manufacturers, as key factors responsible for the event. David was starting to get another migraine. "Ok, Mr. Elias", said Barry, a slightly depressed tone in his voice. "But—it’s not the military-industrial complex. It’s the military-industrial-entertainment complex and…" "Barry…", said David icily. "Ok! Ok! Ok! I’ll stop! But you’ll see—I’ll be proven right! The truth is out there!" "I knew lending you all my X-Flies tapes was going to be a mistake." replied David, shaking his head sadly. Barry glanced up and squinted his eyes. He suddenly pointed towards something to the west. "Hey—what’s that?" David looked up, following Barry’s finger. It was the Empire State Building. Even though it was only about a quarter of a mile away from him, David, like most long time New Yorkers, barely noticed it anymore, the building becoming merely ‘background noise’. But now that he was looking at it, he noticed that there was something….odd….about the building. It took him a few seconds to realize what it was. At the very top of the building, on the spire, was a … something… It was difficult to make out any kind of details because of distance and the fact that the whole building—and indeed, the whole city—was blacked out. But it looked like there was a person standing on the very top of the spire. "What is that? Some jumper or something…", began to say David—just as the ‘person’ suddenly expanded in size outwards. As David and Barry stared in awed silence, the ‘person’ suddenly seemed to unfurl wings… It was a pterodactyl. A pterodactyl with wings at least 20 feet wide. The pterodactyl threw back its head and David noticed for the first time its beak and crest. A faint sound reached David and Barry. Skriiitch! Skriitch! Skriiiitch! As the pterodactyl continued to screech, David heard the thump thump thump sounds of helicopters coming from the south. A moment later, a helicopter—a police helicopter-- came into view. It was joined by two more a few seconds later. They began to circle the pterodactyl, intensely bright spotlights on their fronts illuminating it and the entire roof. Faint pop pop pop sounds were suddenly heard and the pterodactyl screeched again and began thrashing its wings violently. Still screeching, it flung itself off the building and began to fall. For one brief terrifying moment, David was convinced it was going to hit the ground. But at around the halfway point, the pterodactyl flapped its wings with a resounding fwoop sound that carried all the way to David’s location. It flapped several more times, slowly gaining altitude and speed, and began to half glide/half-fly northwards. The helicopters hovered over the roof for a few seconds-- as if they weren’t sure what to do. Then, dipping slightly, they turned and sped northwards as well, giving chase to the pterodactyl. They and the pterodactyl disappeared from view amidst the concrete jungle of the New York skyline a few seconds later. David and Barry stared in silence for a few seconds until they could no longer hear or see them. "Well", said David "There’s something you don’t see every day." "Eh—it was much cooler with the ape." Shrugging their shoulders, David and Barry continued walking.
About 10 minutes later, they got to the corner of Park Avenue and 34th Street. There were two small but steady streams of people walking on the street—one stream slowly making their way northwards; another stream slowly moving westwards. "Where to now, Mr. Elias?" "Penn Station is a few blocks that away", said David pointing to the west, "and Grand Central is a few blocks straight up the street." continued David, jerking his thumb to the north. "Any ideas which one won’t be a madhouse?" "Ummm...I think the way things are right now the question isn’t which one is not a madhouse but rather which one is less of a madhouse." "Good point." David stood there, deep in thought for a few seconds then nodded his head. "Ok—we go to Grand Central. All else fails, which can just go straight west and use the Lincoln Tunnel. C’mon Barry!" And with that, the two joined the stream of people slowly heading north.
Grand Central Station- Corner of Park Avenue and 42nd Street About 9 pm local time
David stood at the corner of the street and just shook his head at the sight he was seeing. To call the situation at Grand Central ‘somewhat confusing’ was like calling the Atlantic Ocean ‘a somewhat large body of water’. There were easily over a hundred thousand people just outside the station. How many were inside the station was anyone’s guess. Police officers were standing on top of cars and trucks, screaming into megaphones. Even with the megaphones cranked up at maximum volume, almost nothing could be heard over the yelling and screaming of the crowd except for a few random words and phrases. "…train service…power…lines shut down…no service…repeat, no ser-…home … alternate … out of city…repeat…" Either the crowd could not hear the announcements or did not care to listen. One of the police officers threw down his megaphone and leaped off the car and started walking towards his patrolcar, muttering angrily under his breath. David intercepted him before he could get into his car. "Excuse me—do you know how the Lincoln Tunnel is—" "Lincoln Tunnel is shut down!" yelled the police officer. "Whole fucking island is shutting down! Only bridge still open is the Washington Bridge! Screw these idiots! I’m picking up the wife and kids and getting out of here!" The cop got into his car and drove off, his sirens blaring. David watched the car drive off. "What now, Mr. Elias?" "You heard the man—we’ll go to the Washington Bridge." "Uh—Mr. Elias—where exactly is the Washington Bridge? I’m not familiar with Manhattan very well." David stared at Barry for a long moment before speaking. "It’s near 180th Street, Barry." There was a very long pause. "Uh—that’s hundred and forty streets away from here…." "Then the sooner we start the sooner we get there, right?" "Oy vey…" sighed Barry.
"David—this is a really dumb idea." "I know but I’m fresh out of ideas. Maybe we can flag down a car or a bus or something?" "You’re just making this up as we go, aren’t you?" "Pretty much." Barry let out a long sigh. "Where the hell are we anyway?" David glanced around. He was mildly shocked and surprised on how quickly the streets became quiet as they moved northwards. They had only been walking for about ten minutes or so and the streets had gone from being packed shoulder to shoulder with people to having only one or two figures here and there. None of the figures were paying any attention to them. Indeed – they seem to be running as fast as they could. Later on, David realized that should have been a hint. David spotted a familiar landmark about a block up the street. "That’s the Waldorf there! I think we’re around 48th street or so." "Oh goodie—just another one hundred and thirty two streets to go…." "Try to think positive, Barry! I’m sure that—" David stopped as he heard the sound of yelling and screaming down the street to his right. Ignoring Barry’s protests, David ran down the street towards the sounds.
The two of them were taking cover behind a parked car. Neither one of them were talking as they were too awestruck by the sight in front of them. About half a block away from them, about half a dozen men—all looking like they just walked out of a Hell’s Angels movie—were blasting away with an assortment of weapons. Not at each other. At a dinosaur. A 25 foot long Tyrannosaurus like dinosaur. It seemed to be an even fight. Barry was the first to speak. "Holy shit! It’s, like, totally shrugging off their bullets! Are those guys nuts or something?" "We’re not talking about people from the deep end of the gene pool, Barry." David did a double take and tapped Barry on the shoulder and pointed at something. Barry followed his gaze. Parked along one side of the street about 30 feet away from them were six motorcycles. Barry stared at the bikes, then stared at David, then the bikes again and finally returned his gaze back to David. "You can not be serious! Stealing a bike! Are you insane?" "Well—those idiots are kind of busy right now and we need wheels." "But I don’t know how to ride a bike!" "That’s okay—I do!" "Huh?" "Use to drive one back in college. A 1965 red AT90. Ah—such great times." "I’ve never seen you drive a motorcycle!" "Had to give up motorcycle driving." "Why?" "Ummm—got into an accident and wrecked the bike. Had my licence taken away." Barry stared in shock at David. "Hey! It wasn’t my fault! How was I supposed to know that bridge was under construction? And I still say that blaming me for that 40 car pile-up was very unfair! Plus there were extenuating circumstances—I thought I was being chased by a purple dinosaur." Barry continued to stare in shock at David. "It was the 60’s—long story." "But stealing a bike?" "It’s not like these idiots are using them at the moment!" There was a bloodcurdling scream from up ahead, followed by the sound of something wet and meaty hitting concrete. Barry’s eyes widened in shock and he put his hand over his mouth to keep from throwing up. David stared ahead for a few seconds. "Well—he’s definitely not going to be using his bike." The dinosaur roared again and the gunshots resumed….
"This is really, really, really dumb" hissed Barry. "Shut up and get behind me and hold on tight." hissed David back. There was a short pause. "I said hold on tight! I don’t want you falling off!" "I’m…I’m…I’m too scared to hold on…." David sighed. "Look—just pretend that I’m a naked oiled up Pamela Anderson and hold on tight!" "Ummm… David, remember what I told you last spring about me?" "Oh! Right! Fine! Then imagine I’m a naked oiled up Matt Damon!" "Ooooooh!" There was another pause, this one longer than before. "Barry?" "Yes?" "Please move your hands off my crotch." "Sorry"
With a loud roar that reverberated throughout the street, the motorcycle drove off westwards. Behind them, the dinosaur looked up as it heard the sound of the bike drive off. It roared. And started chasing them.
"It’s chasing us!" "I know!" "IT’S CHASING US!" "I KNOW!" "GO FASTER!" "WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK I’M TRYING TO DO?!?"
David put on a burst of speed as the bike blew through the intersection of Madison and 49th street. Less than a block behind them and gaining speed, the T-Rex followed.
"Turn right at Saks! Turn right!" "Hang on!"
David did a hard right turn as he reached 5th Avenue and –for one long horrifying moment—the bike looked like it was going to skid right into Rockefeller Center . It righted itself at the very last instant and David drove northwards. David risked a second to glance behind him to see if he could see their pursuer. Not seeing it for the moment, he turned to face forward. With a scream, David slammed on the breaks, nearly causing Barry to catapult forwards. "What the fuck are you doing David! Why the fuck did you sto—oh shit…." Standing in the middle of the road about 300 feet in front of them was another T-Rex. The second T-Rex just stared at the duo, tilting its head back and forth, obviously very confused by the appearance of the two of them. Behind David and Barry, there was the sound of loud roars. Very, very close behind them. The second dinosaur perked up its head in shock as it heard the roars. The first dinosaur came charging around the corner. Unlike David and Barry, it did not have quite as much luck as they did and skidded slightly, slamming sidewise into a parked car. The car was flung off the road and, seemingly in slow motion, cartwheeled several times through the air and disappeared from view as it went into the sunken plaza of Rockefeller Center. There was the sound of shattering glass and tearing metal and collapsing masonry The first T-Rex stopped and stared at the second one. Growling softly, it began to slowly walk forward. The second T-Rex reared back its head and hissed and then began walking forwards as well. The two dinosaurs began to slowly pick up speed as they came towards each other. David and Barry stared back and forth between the two of them. "Oh God….oh God….oh God…." whimpered Barry. David stared straight ahead, a hard look on his face. Seemingly coming to a decision, he nodded his head and bent low over the handlebars of the bike. "Barry.", said David grimly "Hold on very, very tightly" "Huh? What are you --ohmygodyoucannotbeserious!" screamed Barry as David revved up the bike. With Barry still screaming, the bike shot forwards. The two T-Rexes—now completely oblivious of the two humans on the bike between them—ran at each other, roaring and gnashing their teeth. The bike shot forward towards the second T-Rex -- --and drove under it, right between its legs…. Barely managing to avoid a thrashing tail, the bike roared forward and shot past 51st Street. David glanced into the rearview mirror. The two T-Rexes slammed into each, biting and clawing at each other. With a roar that echoed throughout the street, the two collapsed to their side— --right into St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Shattered masonry and debris of all kinds went flying in every direction as the two T-Rexes collapsed to the ground, still biting and clawing. In agonizing slow motion, David saw one of the Cathedral’s famous spires shift... and…move…and finally…collapse. With a crash that actually shook the ground, the spire fell on top of the two T-Rexes, raising an immense cloud of dust that billowed up into the air and blocked the two dinosaurs—as well as most of Rockefeller Center—from view. The bike continued to speed northwards up 5th Avenue.
"YOU ARE COMPLETELY INSANE!" shrieked Barry. "Hey—it worked, didn’t it?" "You are single-handedly responsible for destroying TWO national landmarks!" "Wasn’t me that did that. And I’m pretty sure that Rockefeller Centre came through more or less in one piece." "St Patrick’s Cathedral is destroyed!" "But it killed two T-Rexes in the process! Heh—almost like it was God’s Will" "Oy vey…." "Exactly."
The motorcycle— with Barry and David still yelling at each other-- drove past 59th Avenue and into the Central Park area of Manhattan. High overhead, a pterodactyl shrieked and wheeled through the sky. ~~ Please Comment In The Discussion Forum
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