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Removing of Queen Elizabeth I




Two years ago this month the governing body known as the General Synod apologised for the role the Church of England played in the abominable African slave trade:

the General Synod acknowledged complicity in the trade after hearing that the Church had run a slave plantation in the West Indies and that individual bishops had owned hundreds of slaves. It voted unanimously to apologise to the descendents of the slaves after an emotional debate in which the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, urged the Church to share the "shame and sinfulness of our predecessors". The Church's missionary arm, the Society for the Propagation of the Faith in Foreign Parts, owned the Codrington plantation in Barbados and slaves had the word "Society" branded on their chests with red-hot irons. ( Daily Telegraph Newspaper, 09-Feb-2006)

We note that orthodox history records that John Hawkins was Britains first Slave Trader:

The first Englishman recorded to have taken slaves from Africa was John Lok, a London trader who, in 1555, brought to England five slaves from Guinea. A second London trader taking slaves at that time was William Towerson whose fleet sailed into Plymouth following his 1556 voyage to Africa and from Plymouth on his 1557 voyage. Despite the exploits of Lok and Towerson, John Hawkins of Plymouth is widely acknowledged to be the pioneer of the English slave trade, because he was the first to run the Triangular trade, making a profit at every stop.

In 1564, Queen Elizabeth I partnered with him by renting him the huge old 700-tonne ship Jesus of Lubeck, and he set forth on his second longer and more extensive voyage along with three small ships. Hawkins sailed to Borburata, privateering along the way. By the time he reached Borburata, he had captured around 400 Africans. After Borburata, Hawkins sailed to Rio de la Hacha. The Spanish officials tried to prevent Hawkins from selling the slaves by imposing taxes. Captain Hawkins refused the taxes and threatened to burn the towns. After selling his slaves, Captain Hawkins sailed to a French colony in Florida for a respite. Captain Hawkins returned to England in September 1566, his expedition a total success as his financiers made a 60% profit. (source - Wikipedia).


Author says,  rather Hawkins was the agent, and Elizabeth I the sponsor, making the Queen Britain's first Slave Trader. In this alternate history, we imagine that a more radicalised General Synod agrees to cleanse the Church of England by taking the author's recommended course of action ...



By February 2006, vigils of over one hundred people had camped outside Westminster Abbey for thirty-four days.

In the light of the apology for the role the Church of England played in the abominable African slave trade, the crimes of one the founding members or the Church, Queen Elizabeth, could no longer be overlooked - claimed the demonstrators.

In 1564 Queen Elizabeth started the British Slave Trade in the ill-appropriately named ship, "the good ship Jesus". The moral foundations of the Church were shaken.

The apology had inadvertently opened a can of worms.

Initially the Church had just admitted to owning slaves and plantations, but subsequently the public found out the Church effectively gave their blessing on the destruction of tens of millions of Africans by declaring Africans had no soul. This gave the British a license to mutilate, rape, kidnap and murder Africans without any fear of eternal damnation.

As penance for the crimes of the Church the public demanded the removal of Queen Elizabeth I, Britain's first Slave Trader, from the crypt in Westminster Abbey.

The complexity of the shame which has fallen on the Church has been compounded with taunts of "when exactly did the Church become a moral institution", "how many good deeds can out outweigh the malevolence of a genocidal despot", "can we apologise for a crime 200 years later" and "get Elizabeth out, she is rotting the foundations of the church."

The final straw came when a national competition was held to effectively mock the Church of England, the number of participants were overwhelming. The most favourite excuses for a Slave Trader at the gates of heaven included:


Errr. didn't the Bible say Ham was Black and therefore had to live a cursed life for the rest of eternity or something like that, wasn't this your will.

Errr, I know I should not kill but my government said we had to protect and improve our standard of living for the glory of our country.

Errr, let me in I'm an American, Heaven is the 51st state isn't it.

Errr, I saw them talk, walk and bleed but I really did not think they were human so I thought it was okay to kill them for fun.

Errr, I knew they were animals so I thought that it was okay to rape the boys and girls. I never raped anyone under the age of five though.

Errr, I felt the trip would do you some good. Get out see the world.

Errr, we didn't think it would last 400 years and wreak havoc on the lives of those afflicted and their offspring for centuries after it ended.

Errr, shhhhhhhhhh, they don't remember, why'd you have to bring that up.



The ignominy of the mass public outcry has swayed the decision of the Church to exhume the body of Elizabeth and place it in an unmarked grave, fit for a criminal. Click to watch the Youtube Clip



Author's Notes


Kwame Dallas


Webmaster of I Want To Remember the African Holocaust.

Indigenous people have to suffer to build an empire, Africans suffered to build Europe, Native Americans had to suffer to give birth to the mighty United States, Indians suffered to supply spices, Aborigines of Australia had to suffer, the Jews of Nazi Europe, the Palestinians of Palestine and many more. War is ugly, atrocities are common on both sides, but it is the victors who win the license to convey the official version of a conflict. Our aim is to give the victims of oppression a voice. Today, African people in the Diaspora are over represented in prisons, mental institutions, academic under achievement and poverty. The seeds of dysfunction were sown over 450 years of enslavement by Europeans and Arabs. We want to repair the self esteem of Africans today, we want to stop the destruction of Africans today, we want to stop the increasing flow of Africans going to prisons, we want the stop the flow of Africans being sectioned in mental institutions. We want to fund projects which tackle these destructive issues.

Also, Guest Historian of Today in Alternate History, a Daily Updating Blog of Important Events In History That Never Occurred Today.

Imagine what would be, if history had occurred a bit differently. Who says it didn't, somewhere? These fictional news items explore that possibility. Possibilities such as America becoming a Marxist superpower, aliens influencing human history in the 18th century and Teddy Roosevelt winning his 3rd term as president abound in this interesting fictional blog.




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