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Superfluous Scripture by Raymond Speer

Author says: what if the mysterious Q document was discovered which includes the sayings re-purposed in the synaptic gospels according to the Two Source Theory? Please note that the opinions expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect the views of the author(s).

In 2004, December 12th: Karol Wojtyla aka Pope John Paul II had a locked box brought to a conference room, and he opened it to Josef Ratzinger.

"Unless you are considerably better than I am in Greek contaminated with Aramaic slang," said the Pope, "I recommend that you start with the typescripts in the pouch. They are the Italian, French, German, and Spanish translations of the original documents, which have been stored in the Vatican for two millennia".

Ratzinger touched the papers with hesitation. "You mean, those parchments are the papers used by the Apostles as sources for the Gospels? The fabled Q Documents".

Unconsciously, the ill pontiff let a line of drool run down his left chin. Without asking, Ratzinger took a hankie and cleaned the mishap. "The Vatican Libraries are truly amazing. It is a shame that so much of it is to be kept confidential".

"These papers, what do they add to the story of our Lord?"

"You learn his favorite meal was corn and barley soup; at every sermon, Jesus insisted that his audience adopt stray animals like dogs and cats and tend to them kindly, and that Jesus read Greek fluently and patronized libraries where he read Plato and Aristotle and Caesar. There are even a couple of book reviews written by the Lord Jesus himself".

"Astonishing," exclaimed Ratzinger.

His hand involuntary shaking and jerking, John Paul II pointed to a particular page.

"And here Jesus organizes his disciples for his coming death. And Jesus says: decisions shall be made by Mary Magdalene and Simon Peter after conference and due deliberation, and when Simon and Mary disagree, there shall be no action performed".

""Oh. my God," exclaimed Ratzinger.

"The Q Document makes plain that women are to be priests and in fact, Jesus has made multiple women priests and he expressly approves them as his agents, stating that women are equal to men and that their periods are unimportant".

Pope John Paul II slumped in his chair. "There is much more," said the Pope. "Gregory XVI wrote a private dissertation on some statements Jesus made about all men having an obligation to supply children for the next generation, and Gregory's essay is passed down with the Q Documents to every Pope thereafter".

Ratzinger smiled ruefully. "So Jesus says, have children, and some Pope added a postscript in favor of celibacy".

Ratzinger said: "It will go hard with the church if this ever gets out".

"I agree," said John Paul II. "The night that John Paul I died in his bed was when he was given the Q Documents to read. "

"Josef," said John Paul II sombrely, "I expect that you will be the next Pope. If you admit what the Q Documents say, you will admit that Jesus never intended celibacy or the limitation of the priesthood to males.

Next to those admissions, who cares about triflles like Mary remarrying twice after Joseph died?"

"I understand," said Ratzinger. And he has not said a word about it since then.

Author says Wikipedia reports - the Two-Source Hypothesis (or 2SH) is an explanation for the synoptic problem, the pattern of similarities and differences between the three Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. It posits that the Gospel of Matthew and the Gospel of Luke were based on the Gospel of Mark and a lost, hypothetical sayings collection called Q.. To view guest historian's comments on this post please visit the Today in Alternate History web site.

Raymond Speer, Guest Historian of Today in Alternate History, a Daily Updating Blog of Important Events In History That Never Occurred Today. Follow us on Facebook, Myspace and Twitter.

Imagine what would be, if history had occurred a bit differently. Who says it didn't, somewhere? These fictional news items explore that possibility. Possibilities such as America becoming a Marxist superpower, aliens influencing human history in the 18th century and Teddy Roosevelt winning his 3rd term as president abound in this interesting fictional blog.


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